No apologies

There are those times in your life; in a day, a week, a month… when you have your soul sit in a quiet room and really listen to itself. It is in those moments when you learn some truths about yourself; embrace some realization from your experiences. Life brings about circumstances that make us learn more about ourselves; whether it is work, or family or relationships. And from these situations, I believe we should strive to become better people through the lessons we learn.

I have come to learn, however, that learning and becoming better does not always mean changing stuff about ourselves. Sometimes growth and development is about keeping some things about ourselves constant. And for those things about ourselves that we decide to stay unchanged, we should do so without apologies.

If you love the arts, love it and make no apologies for it. After all, the arts possess a rare form of honesty that makes the heart respond to it. Fight against the nay sayers and educate those who have a warped and vain notion to what it is.

If you appreciate challenges at work, do not settle for mind numbing activities that will see your potential rot. Do the best at what you do, and when that is as shiny as a penny, look for more opportunities and responsibilities that will build you. Stay away from people who are comfortable with the status quo and the lazy; they will dampen your energy and snuff out your light.

If you are a sucker for upbeat and worthy conversations, do not give too much time to eroded ones that prod about mediocre issues that take more out of you than they deposit. Avoid conversations that end up making you petty or enlightened in all the wrong things…and we know what those wrong things are once we hear them.

If you have certain expectations of people when it comes to relationships, do not make excuses in the absence of these characteristics; assuming that they are realistic of course. Settling for less means you believe less in yourself and even lesser in the people you are interacting with. No true joy comes out of still wishing upon these traits on someone you have already chosen to settle with.

I have come to learn that there are many of us out here with an identity crisis. It rears its head in subtle ways; trying to fit into societal standards that may go against our values and beliefs, just so as to get a sense of belonging. No one likes to be alone. This reminds me of the Hollywood high school movies we watch with the dining hall scenario where a vulnerable teenager’s worst nightmare was to have to sit alone, on an isolated table, at lunch time. This sort of fear makes us compromise. Compromise on our values, our principles, our beliefs, our true selves, our dreams... Think about it, most times when we choose to compromise on these, we choose to follow someone else’s. Someone else’s values, principles, beliefs and dreams. Why should we? Fear is not friendly; it is not a friend. It is like a towering fence that keeps us from seeing the beauty in the horizon yonder. It does not want the best for you. Shake it off and you shall rid yourself of a lactating parasite. To be alone does not mean to be lonely. And when you are alone, but happy, satisfied and at peace with yourself, you shall possess a light that will draw others to you.

So here’s a toast.

To ourselves; each and every one of us.

To our sovereignty; the sovereignty of our dreams, our treasured values and inner most beliefs.

With no apologies.